NASCAR NEWS BRIEF

Nascar has decided to drop its long-time sponsor WINSTON CIGARETTES due to growing negative public outcries about the dangers of cigarette smoking. Nascar has chosen to go with a more "public friendly" industry as it's new Championship Cup sponsor.

Feeling that the female audience is growing in leaps and bounds, Nascar has chosen KOTEX FEMININE PRODUCTS as it's new sponsor.

The former Winston Cup Series will now be known as the KOTEX CUP SERIES.

SOME OF THE MANY NEW SPONSORS

Of course, with all of these new Feminine Hygiene sponsors, many of the race names will be changed. We will now have:

  • The Massengill 400 at Martinsville
  • The Daytona Douche 500
  • The Charlotte Stay Free Maxipad 600
  • The Yeast Infection 200 at Dover
  • The Bristol OB 500
  • The Arlington Always 400
And, my personal favorite ........

The Talledaga Tampax Tampon 500

Which, of course, will bring light to some of the stranger converstations you'll ever hear:

"You got tickets to the Tampon 500??? How in the world did you ever manage that???"

"Well ..... err ... we pulled a few strings."

Special Thanks to Larry the Cable Guy for that joke. I saw it on Comedy Central's Blue Collar Comedy Tour.

If you haven't seen this one yet .. it's "Must See TV". The Blue Collar Comedy Tour stars Jeff Foxworthy, Ron White, Larry the Cable Guy and Bill Engvall. It's comedy with a twang in this documentary-style concert film following the kings of redneck comedy on their stand-up tour across the heartland. Also see what life on the road is like off stage, as these good ol' boys greet fans and take time out for simple pleasures like lingerie shopping and a day at the spa.

Some of the funniest crap I've seen in a long time. Check your local listings for showtimes.

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