THINGS MY MOM TAUGHT ME

Courtesy of my sister, Karen

  • MOM TAUGHT ME TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
    "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside, I just finished cleaning!"

  • MOM TAUGHT ME RELIGION
    "You better pray that will come out of that carpet!"

  • MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT TIME TRAVEL
    "If you don't straighten up, I'll knock you into next week!"

  • MOM TAUGHT ME LOGIC
    "Because I said so, that's why!"

  • MOM TAUGHT ME FORESIGHT
    "Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."

  • MOM TAUGHT ME IRONY
    "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about!"

  • MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT THE SCIENCE OF OSMOSIS
    "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

  • MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT CONTORTIONISM
    "Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck?"

  • MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT STAMINA
    "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone!"

  • MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT WEATHER
    "It looks like a tornado went through your room!"

  • MOM TAUGHT ME HOW TO SOLVE PHYSICS PROBLEMS
    "If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?"

  • MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT HYPOCRISY
    "If I told you once, I've told you a million times-don't exaggerate!"

  • MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
    "Stop acting like your father!"

  • MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT ENVY
    "There are millions of less fortunate kids in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

And most of all.....

  • MOM TAUGHT ME THE CIRCLE OF LIFE
    "I brought you into this world, I can take you out"

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