Brand new 2004 edition of "You might be a redneck if..."
- You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
- You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
- Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
- You burn your yard rather than mow it.
- You think the "Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.
- The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
- You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want
- You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
- You come back from the dump with more than you took there.
- You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
- Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
- Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
- You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
- You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
- You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
- You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
- You have a rag for a gas cap.
- Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
- You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
- You can spit without opening your mouth.
- You consider your license plate personalized because your father made
- Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
- You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on
- The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
- Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
- You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
- A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000.00 worth of
- You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
- You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
- You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
- Someone tells you that you've got something in your teeth, so you take
them out to see what it is!
Courtesy of KIM